that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
