I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize