I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The adults are the big ones right?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
