I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize