He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
