Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
