he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think people are normalizing furries
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
