i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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