that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Is Oprah even human
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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