I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
