i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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