shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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