What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
