just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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