So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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