i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
