dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
