There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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