Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize