he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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