he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
