i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
