please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
