We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize