yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize