I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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