I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize