Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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