i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
