I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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