You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
