That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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