marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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