weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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