I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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