Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It's Friday. Sex?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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