ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
