Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
