I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
