What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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