so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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