Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
