she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
