I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
