My brain says no but my pants say off.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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