No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
