She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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