I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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