Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
