Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
