You made me cry and you don't even care
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
