i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
