omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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