i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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