Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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