when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
