rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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