And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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