love makes seman taste better
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
