i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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