So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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