did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
