Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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