Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize