Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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