Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Fuck appropriateness.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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