I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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