You made me cry and you don't even care
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Is it because I queefed?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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