sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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