Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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